Being Vulnerable from a Place of Security

When all we know is ministering from a place of strength, then we will confuse vulnerability with disclosure. We think to ourselves, when I have triumphed, when I have had my breakthrough, then I will tell my story.

It is prideful of us to think that the encounters people have with Christ rest on what they see of our success. It was only in the workplace that this misconception I had been been conditioned for many years to have, as a child growing up in church seeing God glorified only through positive testimonies of breakthrough and deliverance, became revealed. People encounter God not as a result of their love for our strength, but the strength of His love – a love that triumphs over all odds.

Growing through Crushing Failure

Don’t be discouraged if you mess up in front of your colleagues. Sometimes you have to let yourself taste defeat, to feel crushed, to be disappointed – and trust that people will see the work of God in your life: the molding, the encouraging, the testing, the guiding. In Daniel 3, when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were accompanied by a mysterious fourth man in the fire, it was only because they had been thrown into the flames, prepared to die. If they had been known to be impervious to danger, impenetrable, weirdly resilient – there would have been no miracle to speak of. This is an extreme example, but the point is that it is our obvious humanity, not our superhuman ability, that sometimes paves the way for God’s divinity to shine.

“Don’t be discouraged if you mess up in front of your colleagues. Sometimes you have to let yourself taste defeat, to feel crushed, to be disappointed – and trust that people will see the work of God in your life.”

I grew up thinking that excellence was the only right way to reveal Christ. And it is true that excellence is one major way through which Christ is revealed on earth. Throughout the Bible we see the splendour and sophistication of Solomon, the attention to detail of artisans who built the Temple, the faithfulness of each hero, the scholarly brilliance of Paul. But the fruit of the Spirit, we learn, is “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control”. These are the traits that when seen in both good times and bad ultimately testify to God’s existence and presence.

Glorifying God in the Storm

How should we live our lives such that we continually magnify God’s goodness? I think His goodness manifests in so many ways: in excellence, in persecution, even in wrestles with Him over hurts and pains. I believe that only one thing is guaranteed: if you hide a lamp, it will not be seen! Being a testament to God’s goodness will certainly not happen in an opaque, closed up life lived in shadows. I believe that when we who are in Christ boldly show others the works in progress that we are, it highlights not how little progress we have made, but that we are the work of Someone – a master potter refining our lives.

“When we who are in Christ boldly show others the works in progress that we are, it highlights not how little progress we have made, but that we are the work of Someone – a master potter refining our lives.”

Looking back on my previous stint at work, where I was surrounded by such capable people but myself had far less experience to contribute, I see that in the falling behind and asking for help, in the openly struggling to make sense of circumstances but ultimately holding on to my values – those were the moments I knew that it was never about me and my mistake-free image, but about Him and His grace carrying me through.

Our Sense of Security is Our Testimony

A funny phrase that would pop up in my spirit during this stint was compassionate vulnerability. When God is vulnerable with us, His children, it is not from a place of neediness (clearly) but of depth and sincerity. When He communed with people or prophets in the Bible and shared secrets with them, those were exclusive, intense friendships! And when Jesus hung on the cross and was naked before everyone, that act was not for Him but for us. It is so different from the vulnerability that we humans often stumble into.

“When God is vulnerable with us, His children, it is not from a place of neediness (clearly) but of depth and sincerity.”

I will be the first to admit I have frequently deployed vulnerability as a means to prove to myself that others do care, and to find security in human relationships. To practice compassionate vulnerability is to externalise something within us in order that it might reach something inside the other person. Jesus did not “entrust Himself to people”, the Gospel of John says, because he “knew what was in Man”. But that didn’t prevent Jesus from living everyday life amongst His disciples, from keeping Judas in the circle, falling asleep in boats, expressing his anger with religious leaders, weeping with grief, perspiring drops of blood.

I believe when God nudges us toward vulnerability with others, or openness about our difficulties and where we are along our journeys, He is not nudging us to seek out refuge in others – He is nudging us to place our security in Him, so we can expose ourselves to others without shame! When we understand that we are forever accepted by the One who matters, we can say to friends and family, to bosses and subordinates: Yes, this is where I’m struggling, this is where I’m broken, this is where I am on the road to recovery from past traumas. But at the same time, the struggle, the brokenness, the long road – this is precisely the context in which my faith perseveres! Where Jesus remains the centre and intimacy with Him a permanent fixture, where true community keeps me in check.

By Charis Tan, a mentor in our marketplace programme.