How Introverts like Me can Strategize Their Networking Style
Introverts like myself have limited social capacities, while possessing large reservoirs of energy for introspection and retrospection. However, beginning a matching programme (whether for professional, social or romantic networking) requires broad social connections.
In this post, I share with you how I overcome the challenges of being an introvert organising a social programme requiring intense networking.
This is not a spiritual reflection or a testimony. Rather, this is how I internally processed a specific type of challenge when starting the marketplace mentorship programme.
I don’t like how self-serving and opportunistic some professional networkers are. When writing this, I come from a heart of wanting to pour myself into a project that I know will benefit my entire generation. I love people intensely, and I want to see them flourish. I hate the connotations behind “networking”, but this is the most often used term.
Build an Awareness of Second Degree Connections
I prefer keeping a few deep friendships rather than many broad connections. However, I needed to build a broad base of mentors. To play to my strengths, I chose to build deep connections with just a few key superconnectors. These superconnectors had extensive networks of potential mentors of their own, and they could promote my mentorship programme for me. In other words, I do not rely on my ability to build many first degree connections with potential mentors. Instead, I leverage existing second degree connections through the superconnectors I know.
“To play to my strengths, I chose to build deep connections with just a few key superconnectors.”
So my approach had to shift. I cannot think “How should I promote my programme to potential mentors?” Rather, I must build trust with my key superconnectors, and think “How can I make it easy for my superconnectors to promote my programme to their networks of potential mentors?”
That was when I created a concise but comprehensive slide deck for my key superconnectors to share. The slide deck had to achieve a few objectives:
- Establish the need for mentorship
- Articulate the vision and values
- Broadly outline the programme
- Prove my credibility through testimonials
- Provide my contact
Through the referrals of my superconnectors, I also leveraged their credibility.
Plan Social Energy Sprints and not Endurance Runs
The next hurdle I had to overcome was to build rapport with each interested mentor. This was an inevitable step. I have to function as a physical social network, and all social programmes are high-touch in nature. I needed to build trust with each mentor. The mentors also need to mentally put a face and persona to my programme, otherwise it is too impersonal for a social initiative. I had 100+ interested mentors to meet. Mind you, I am very introverted.
So, I intentionally packed 60+ calls, lunches, teas and dinners with 60+ mentors within a span of 2 weeks (averagely 6 meetings per weekday). I gave myself a 2-week notice before the sprint began, so that I can recharge my social energies and prime myself for the sprint.
How did I prime myself? I mentally visualised calling and meeting mentors. I mentally experimented with my tone, facial expressions, conversations and walking through the day. I actually imagined myself from third person perspective too.
“I mentally visualised calling and meeting mentors. I mentally experimented with my tone, facial expressions, conversations and walking through the day.”
In other occasions, I primed myself by watching people whom I would model in the social setting, and soak in their energies. If I wanted to prime myself for deliberative discussions, I would watch videos of Peter Hitchens, Barrack Obama or Dr. David Berlinski. If I wanted to electrify and charm an audience, I would watch startup pitches on Shark Tank.
Make no mistake about it. Even with preparation, I would still finish each sprint face flat on the ground. I would sleep extensively, and take many days to recharge my social energy. I have to replay memorable conversations, understand the personalities of each person, and imagine what future conversations with this person might look like. I then catalogue these impressions into my schema. All these processes happen subconsciously, but I also make time to intentionally run through these memories.
Strengthen the Networks around your Network
It is very mutually beneficial to connect people in your network to each other. Sometimes I lament to my friend “if only I know someone who can is good at abc…” And then my friend poke me and say “you already know someone. You remember you introduced me to xyz…”
I cannot keep up with so many connections at one time. However, if my friends know each other, they actually remind me of people I know. And of course they can introduce me to people that they know. (This leads to an explanation for the strength of weak ties. Read more here.)
In the case of my mentoring programme, currently the programme revolves around my network. The fundamental problem I am trying to solve is the relationship gap between generations of Christians. That is why I am a broker between older mentors and younger mentees. However, I should work myself out of this role. I need to establish more bridges between older and younger Christians in the marketplace.
“In the glorious misfortune that I get promoted to glory prematurely, my network would die with me. However, if there are more connectors who know my network, then I don’t have to worry that this network will fall to the ground and shatter.”
That is why I wholeheartedly support mentees bringing their friends to meet their mentors. That is also why I have mentor coordinators who are my peers. I am trying to ensure that I am not the only node for my friends to connect with older Christians. In the glorious misfortune that I get promoted to glory prematurely, my network would die with me. However, if there are more nodes / bridges / brokers / connectors who know my network, then I don’t have to worry that this network will fall to the ground and shatter.
There are also many other good reasons to connect your friends to each other. Potential outcomes include finding jobs for your friends, broadening each other’s perspectives, creating business partnerships, creating ministry collaborations or even finding support for friends going though a rough patch.
The best is when you broker romantic relationships for which your friends owe you an endearing debt muahaha!!!
Ruminating Thoughts
In this post, I have explained in rather cold-blooded functional terms how I overcame the problems of networking as an introvert for the purposes of the mentoring programme. Here is my confession: The most vital relationships I cultivated are brokered by God’s miracles. They did not even happen through these techniques I schemed.
If you read this post with a tinge of performance anxiety, please take this to heart: God supplies all your needs, even relational needs. You don’t have to strive for them. If God ushers you into a season out of your comfort zone like me, He will give you the inner resources and creativity to bulldoze or obliterate mountains. Many ideas came through prayer. Brainstorm with God. He is the ultimate strategist.
Blessings,
Samuel YC Tan
